Ring Finger Tan Line

Many of you have significant others, and you’re just giddy thinking about all of the awesome presents and sex you’re going to get tomorrow. Well good for you. We’re all very happy that you’re getting laid and we’re not. Please talk about it more.

However, for the most part, I do not envy you. Except maybe the sex, that does sounds pretty nice. But interestingly enough, I am not sad about being single. Not in the slightest. As many of you single blubbering fools have spent today wallowing in pools of chocolate and self-pity in anticipation of tomorrow, I have been dancing around my apartment like an idiot and belting out Whitney Houston’s greatest hits (too soon?).

So for all of you blubbering fools, hopeless romantics, or happy-go-lucky single gals, I have got a treat to match your mood. It’s the best kind of gift- the regift. That’s right, it’s my…

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