Stop Being Judgmental

One of the best ways to avoid being judgmental towards gay relationships is to begin by exercising good judgment. It isn’t at all uncommon for anyone to see something they do not like or understand and make a snap judgment based on a general impression without ever really asking them self why they feel that way. Even when they may share this impression of how they feel about something with another, they may not be able to answer the question even if pressed to.

There is no denying that gays are in the minority and it has really only been the last 15-20 years in which gay couples have begun a more visible part of the public landscape. For countless decades they kept their sexuality and relationships under wraps aside from the confines of places that were specifically designed to be safe havens for them. Now however you may see gay couples holding hands while strolling through the shopping mall, giving each other a hug and kiss as they go their separate ways before attending class or heading off to their job, or even sitting in the seats in front of you at the movie theater with their arms draped across each others shoulders. As this is something for many that is still new to some people in the visible sense regarding real life and not just television or movies, it can be unsettling. People aren’t sure how to react and just find them self thinking “I don’t like it.” They may not know why, they just have it in their head it is somehow wrong.

In order to avoid this it helps to honestly ask yourself why you feel it is wrong? Is it the visual, some sort of moral or spiritual hangup, or is it just that you flat out don’t like gay people. No matter what answer is arrived at, examine that even further and again ask why you arrived it. Is it because someone told you that is how you’re supposed to feel, is it rooted in just not having ever known enough about homosexuality to accept these people, or again, is it just because you don’t like gays in general?

Then stop and ask yourself this, what if the roles were reversed and you found yourself in an environment, even if just for a few hours of one day in which you as a member of a heterosexual couple found yourself in the position of being the minority. Would you want all those homosexual couples judging your relationship as lesser, twisted, sick, or abnormal just because you are in a heterosexual relationship without even knowing you? How would that make you feel honestly, and then ask yourself if your doing that to a gay couple in the same situation still seems like a good idea or a fair thing.

Dig a little deeper and start asking yourself mpre poignant questions like whether or not gay couples that are held to the same standards in societal functioning are less deserving of the right to be a couple than a straight couple is. Is their love for one another somehow lesser than that a man may feel for a woman? Does the fact that a couple may be absolutely no different than you in regard but being gay really something that somehow lessens your relationship or has a negative impact on your life in any way whatsoever?

As simple as this may sound, if a person were to try broccoli and then say they didn’t like it, that would be a perfectly acceptable judgment because they gave it a chance and based that judgment on real and rational experience. To say you don’t like broccoli though without ever trying it is unfair to broccoli and does it a disservice. The same applies to judging gay couples, if you haven’t tried it and based your assessment on sound rational reasons, you can’t judge it. That is the easiest way to avoid being judgmental towards gay relationships.


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