When you’re in the heat of an argument, many men find themselves asking the question, “Why do women shut down?” You thought you had the issue resolved. You wanted her to stop crying. She did for a moment, but now she won’t talk.
If you’re a man, you may be wondering why women behave the way they do. You may see tears in her eyes and then a distant gaze. It’s pretty clear that she’s hurt. So why do women shut down? The answer is easier than you might think. Women are different from men in the sense that they do not look at things from a factual point of view. When women get their feelings hurt, or feel that you’re not listening, they shut down.
It’s not that women are oblivious to the fact that you want to solve a problem. We do. Just because a woman shuts down, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you. It doesn’t mean that she never wants to see you again. It simply means that someone has hurt her feelings, and she doesn’t know how to react. Women shut down when the man they love hurts them. Suddenly, a woman feels lost, alone, and confused. The problem is that her man isn’t doing anything to ease her pain. You’re confused, because you can’t understand why she’s not talking to you.
Women shut down, because they don’t feel valued. If you want a woman to open up about her feelings, don’t ignore her when she shuts down. Offer a soft hand on her shoulder. If this doesn’t work, the problem may be deeper. The problem may be unrelated to you, in which case you will need to reach out to her. Most often, though, women shut down, because they are profoundly hurt by someone they love. The thing to remember is that you shouldn’t get angry at a woman for shutting down. In fact, do the opposite. Shower her with affection. When you do this, she will be more likely to respond to you in a positive way.
If you get angry at a woman for shutting down, it is unlikely that she will feel comfortable opening up to you anytime soon. Give her time to examine her emotions and collect her thoughts. When she has time to think about the situation, and cry it out, she will be better able to discuss her feelings and reach a resolution.
Whatever you do, resist the urge to prove that you are right about something. When you do this, you create more distance between you and your female partner.