I don’t know about you, but I had major problems being able to accept things or help or even love from people. A formula had been successfully drilled into my head:

asking or accepting = getting obliged.

When given a gift, at the earliest opportunity another gift needs to be given to the giver. Help shouldn’t be asked for – we need to be ‘self sufficient’! If someone helps, then instantly something has to be given as a token of appreciation. These ‘returns’ of favour were often done at rather sacrificial costs.

Even when desperate for help, I wouldn’t ask others. Sometimes I would pluck up the courage to ask for help, but I would add clauses such as “When you have time” or “If you are passing this way”. I could be struggling to breathe with a bout of asthma, but nonetheless I would still watch out for the…

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