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Is there such a thing?  Can you really fall in love at first sight?

I think we first have to define what love is.  According to Merriam-Webster love is:

a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.

I used to believe in love at first sight but I don’t anymore.  But only because I learned what real love is.   The bible defines love this way:

“4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

6It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

7Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].”

 

That comes from 1st Corinthians chapter 13.  Also known as the “love chapter.”

So learning what true love is, can it really happen at first sight?

I think an interest and affection can come at first sight, but love, love takes time.

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Ever feel like you’re not good enough? Ever feel like curling up in a ball on your bed and staying there forever? Ever feel like people don’t understand you? Ever feel like you’re living a fake life? Ever feel like you’re meant to do more? Ever feel selfish then guilty? Ever feel completely stumbling through the day? Ever feel like you just need a few days to yourself? Ever thought about living somewhere isolated? Ever been scared of ending up alone? Or not finding love? Ever thought about never being loved? Ever thought of failure?

I guess this is sort of a heavy post, but really, if you can’t handle it, then leave. The thought of that made me smile. But actually, if you are just going to judge someone’s blog, tumblr, twitter or other form of self expression, then don’t continue reading it, just leave. It’s not your place to make any judgments, about anyone. You don’t know them. Even if you walk a mile in someone’s shoes, you’re not walking through their whole life. I’m not going to lie. For me, sometimes it’s a struggle to get up in the morning. And I’m not talking about the early wake up time.

I’m talking about the thought of facing another day. Another day in the same place, following the same routine, with the same people, and the same feelings of stress, anxiety and frustration. Another day working towards a goal that society has placed upon us. Even teachers admit, we don’t have freedoms, we do what the system wants us to do. If we don’t, we don’t survive. Compare this to The Hunger Games.  No, I’m not a Hunger Games freak, but what’s the problem of being one? & if you haven’t read the books then you should check them out.

Our situations and theirs are analogous. The districts do what it takes to survive, that happens to be doing everything the Capitol tells them to do. Because the Capitol has all the power to destroy the districts. The districts sacrifice their children each year for the hunger games and for what? To teach them a lesson about revolting? No, it’s just for pure entertainment. Humans like to watch others fail to feel superior. In reality, they do not know what it is like to be in another person’s situation. All they do is think of “clever” commentary while they watch with popcorn from the sidelines. We live in a society where we can either be set up for success or for total failure. Yes, you can blame us for failing, but the world doesn’t want just all to succeed. Because if everyone succeeded then the word would be useless. What would success be if everyone experienced it? But forgive me, I’m diverging.

Life is tough. Yes I understand. Yes I understand that I have it better than a lot of people. Yes I understand that I am very fortunate for the environment I am growing up in. At least I’m aware of all this. Some people complain about how hard their life is; their parents bought them a car, pay for their gas, pay for college, pay for an iPhone, pay for a laptop, and yet they’re making you pay for those shoes? WOW YOUR LIFE IS DIFFICULT, EXCUSE ME WHILE I LOOK FOR TWO SHITS TO GIVE. I’m just so tired of people.

I guess it all goes back to human nature. People always aren’t satisfied. They will always want more. We are run by greed, and it will be the death of us. Some people live without running water. Some people live with tarp walls. Some people don’t have parents or any relatives. Some people cannot provide for their families. Some people don’t know what it’s like to sleep in a warm room. Look at where you are right now, and then think about those people. You’re fortunate aren’t you? Just because someone drives a beat up car, doesn’t mean you should question their character. We have gotten so materialistic that it sickens me.

Sometimes I look at people and just shake my head. Because people disappoint me.

Any time that someone asks what’s love or to define love, they’ll usually begin by differentiating between love and lust because we all know what lust is. However we can not define Love by what it isn’t nor any other quote that’s been passed around for years. So you ready? Here it is…

Love as a non-platonic adjective is the extremity of the bond(commonly referred to as relationship) that 2 people or entities share. It’s a level of necessity in one’s life that starts at 0 and has infinite growing potential.

Now let me break that down a bit because already I can hear you scratching your head. People always say things like, it was “Love at first sight” which couldn’t be further from the truth. In that context, love is something you stumble upon and pick up like a seashell. In the definintion I gave, love is something you grow and nurture that becomes stronger with time and energy invested. What some people mistake for “love at first sight” is often a lust for love at first sight. The thought of finally meeting that person who fits your image of the one you could love is what you were lusting for which could very well evolve into love with time. But if you met that person and the next day heard they got in a car wreck and died, you would forget about them in a week. On the contrary, if you spent 20 years investing time and energy into loving that person, their death would leave you feeling sick, lost, and mourning possibly for the rest of your life. Now who’s to quantify at what extremity does ‘love’ officially exist? That can only be measured by the love that already exists in your life amongst friends or family and at what point you’ll dignify the degree at which you want a person to be in your life to be deemed “Love”. If you agree or disagree, feel free to let me know but if it doesn’t make sense, stay tuned. More to come.

 

If these walls could speak, they would tell a sad story about a girl who wears her Heart on her sleeve…

To many times I see people walking around in relationships where there was a fire but it wasn’t kept alive. Wood wasn’t added to the fire it wasn’t watched or cared for but burned brightly than burned out just as fast. And it hurts to see this. You see couples walking together but not together at all. If you can’t fight for love then what can you fight for? You are nothing. Love is more valuable than diamonds or fast cars. Love is life. To love is to live and I feel most alive when I know I’m loved. It scares me to think that one day the fire that burns for me alone will ever go out because I want my fire alive and well, always going. I’m not a fighter but I will fight to keep the fire going, the love burning and a passion that never fails. I will fight. Love is a gift. That makes me fall to my knees and pray it never leaves. Try to see the one you love in many different lights not just one. Let the fire light every part of the person and reveal who they are to you. No one should know your love like you do so ask, probe and question. Get to know who they really are in many different lights. Never be afraid to ask if you are, how is that love? To love someone is to want to know who is who they are and why they are who they are. Love is wanting to experience things together. Never let the fire die. I know how that feels. Always make time for this person and make sure they know you love them and support them. Never let the fire die.

Why do individuals say they have found their other half, or that they feel “whole” when in love?

According to ancient Greek plays, our ancestors were divided into three categories: Male/male, male/female, female/female (as opposed to only two kinds of human beings today: the male and female). These humans had 2 heads, 8 limbs, conjoined genitals and were emotionally and physically strong, so much so that they attempted to usurp Zeus the God of all Gods to try to take over his kingdom.

One day, Zeus decided that enough was enough, as he became angry at the antics of these early human beings and used his lightning bolts and split them all in half.

Ever since then, individuals have become deprived and run around trying to look for their other half, and try to “rejoin” each other to recover their primal nature and feel holistic again. The male/male became gays, the female/female became lesbians, and the male/female became heterosexuals, all with the same life time goal of searching for their other halves. And Zeus was well and happy after that because due to the fact that they are so busy finding love and so blinded and weakened by it, they didn’t have time to worry about rebelling against the gods. When they do find each other, all they want to do is to do everything they can to re-gain their wholeness by hugging each other all the time, kissing, having sex, and they never want to let each other go.

The moral of this story: love is irrational, it does not last and it makes you weak.

The chances of you finding your other half who fits exactly to your standards is slim to none. It takes more than a lifetime to find him or her.

When you get into a relationship, there is a 99.9 percent chance that you will be separated at the end. Even if you do get married, there is a 50 percent chance that it will end in divorce. Out of the 50 percent that stayed together, I would say about 80 percent of them hate their spouse or cheat on each other. So, you do the math. The chances of love making you happy is as slim as winning the lottery.

Also, even if you do find your other half, your true love who makes you “whole”, AND THEN WHAT? You aren’t exactly sure what to do either.

You can fornicate, suck cock, deep throat it as far as it can go, eat pussy until your whole head is engulfed in her vagina and do all of that stuff and try as hard as you can to get inside the other person’s body and rejoin as a whole, but at the end, you just can’t do it. You are still a separate entity no matter what, and you are bound to be separated at the end; even if you love each other forever one of them will have to die first. So, at the end, it’s you and yourself only. So, are you really happier and better off with the other person?

Lastly, love makes you weak. We spend so much time worrying about love and looking for it that it takes our focus away from what’s really important to us, just like our ancestors who became too weak to rebel against the gods after they were chopped in half.

The only way to have a happy marriage is when you get married when you are 92 or just a couple of years before you die. I don’t think I would get married until I find out that I have cancer and only have 1 year to live. People fall out of love after a year or two anyway.

I’m not taking the story literally, it’s just an interesting metaphor.

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Does a woman need a man in order to feel complete?

Some women think that they need a man to feel complete so they either stay in an unhealthy relationship or go from man to man so they don’t have to be alone.  Though partnering with a man in a relationship does have advantages, a woman should not look to a man to feel complete because it often leads to disappointment.

We all have a void in our lives that we tend to try to fill with various things, including money, people, career status, material possessions, and so on.  The problem is that things and people don’t really fulfill the void we feel in our lives.  They may temporarily be gratifying but the feeling of happiness wears off eventually and the nagging void returns.

For example, let’s say that a woman does not want to be alone so she gets together with a man to feel fulfilled and secure.  The relationship is going well for a while but the nagging void returns.  She may think that maybe this man is not her soul mate because he is not filling the void, so she breaks up with him and latches onto another man in hopes that he will fill the void.

Some women will mistakenly think that a man can fulfill her. The truth of the matter is that a person is not meant to fill the void that humanity feels.  That void comes from deep down in our core existence, or our spirit.  Material things and people will not satisfy that void for long; it can only be filled from within.

Self-fulfillment comes from one finding fulfillment in and of self.  It is the belief that you can be happy through your own efforts and accomplishments.  For example, a woman who wants to feel fulfilled can make a list of dreams or goals that she can work toward to find fulfillment as her goals are accomplished, she will gain a sense of gratification.  She is taking responsibility for her sense of contentment and not placing it upon another person.

If a woman feels like having a man around is the only way she can feel fulfilled, she may want to consider ending the relationship and being alone for a while.  During this time of  being single, she can learn to find fulfillment in and of herself. This will help her future relationships as she will not be seeking fulfillment from her man but solely from within.